34. Interview with David Lerner: Part 2

15 July 2011

– Sorry, I’m rambling. It’s the divorce. It’s got me all heated still. I’m so tired and like—angry all the time now. I used to be so happy. I will be so happy, when all this shit is over with.

– The divorce I mean, not this. This is actually a break, I think. It’s good to reminisce sometimes. Remember how things were before life got all—complicated, you know?

– Yeah, so, the day I met Earl he was out at the pool and Patty was being a bitch and I looked at Earl and pointed at Patty and said “you believe this broad?” And I expected Earl to kind of laugh in that nervous way people do when they’re—I don’t know. Nervous. You know what I’m talking about. That “heh heh” chuckle to kind of make the person think you’re not uncomfortable when you really are and then that eye shift where you look anywhere that isn’t at the person whose making you feel uncomfortable. I know, I do it, you do it, you’d have to be like, disconnected from reality or just like, really a cocky dickhead to not do it every once in a while. Like, see, my thing is, I do it every time a bum comes up and asks me for a quarter, smelling like old beer and shit. I don’t want to be mean when I see them because like—I don’t know. Nobody knows what their situation is. But holy shit, it’s like every single time I go to the gas station, dude.

– Anyways, I’m just having a little bit of fun that day, right? Puffing my chest out a little, being all manly, and I look at Earl and point at Patty, and Earl just sits there. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t smile, just looks at me, then stares at Patty for like a whole ten seconds, then shakes his head and leaves. Just gets up and walks away. Fucking traitor, bro. No support. So Patty gave me this bitchy look while I was laughing and pointing at her and—[1]

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[1] Mr. Lerner goes on to explain how he managed to convince Mrs. Lerner to go on a date with him.

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