Who Is Anthony Stephens?

The Life and Death of a College Grad

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126. Interview with Graham Baker: Part 3

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16 July 2011

– Listen, the basic gist of it all is you’ve got to make a decision when you’re getting involved with making a new life for yourself.

– There’s two types of disappearing acts: pseudocide, and just plain disappearing.

– The former produces a death certificate and is illegal, makes people think you’re actually not a part of humanity anymore and is a pretty big undertaking.

– But if you just can’t take shit anymore, if things are just that bad, then that’s a different story. There’s no laws against just packing up and leaving.

– If you don’t want to be found, though, pseudocide’s the most convincing. People have a tendency to leave you alone when they think you’re dead.

– It’s a process you have to go through, though. I’ve seen the process fulfilled, and it takes work. Work and lots of research. My book will tell you, pick it up when you get a chance.


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25. Interview with Graham Baker: Part 2

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16 July 2011

– People trying to escape their lives, they do it for all types of reasons.

– Well, one of the most common is the abused spouse, the housewife whose getting six, seven hours of punishment a day from her husband: extension cords, tree branches, lamps, elbow to the head, you name it. These women, they deal with that crap because he’s the father of their child, because he has them thinking that him, he’s scary, but the world, that’s scarier. They deal and deal until one day they come inside the house and their kid, their daughter or son, he or she’s curled up in the corner with a black eye and big, purple bruises across their thighs and back. Maybe they’ve been touched in an unsavory manner to boot, you get me?

– And when she says something to the father, he lays her out. I mean, really gives it to her. And that’s the last straw.

– In that case, the first step is to grab what you can, the kid or kids and a week’s worth of clothes, any money or jewelry you’ve got access to. Stick a dish rag in the gas tank of the man’s car, light a match and watch the vehicle explode from a safe distance, you get me? Or if you’re not trying to cause a ruckus, sugar in the gas tank’s a good move too. Take out his mode of transportation and make sure you got one of your own, even if it’s your feet taking you to a bus station or a train depot. As long as you hit the road. And quickly.

– That’s step one. That’s the first move in a long process that takes a lot of planning. You can’t just up and make decisions like this. And if your husband ain’t beating on you or threatening your life, you might do better to just divorce him if you’re that unhappy. Otherwise, this life, the new life of the pseudocider, it ain’t worth it unless it’s really worth it, you get me?

– This is real stuff. You’ll see. It’s all in my book. Grab a copy when you get a chance.


17. Interview with Graham Baker: Part 1

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Who Is Anthony Stephens?

Graham Baker is a private investigator and bounty hunter in Jacksonville, FL. Over the past few years, he has frequently been an object of interest in the public eye due to the high profile captures of various celebrities on the run from the law, including but not limited to: Lindsay Lohan (cocaine possession), Lil’ Wayne (gun/marijuana possession), Charlie Sheen (domestic violence/probation violation), and Andy Dick (sexual battery). Mr. Baker works out of his office in Downtown Jacksonville which overlooks the conglomeration of buildings surrounding St. John’s River on Florida’s northeast coast.

16 July 2011

– Yes, sir. Dealt with pseudocide[1] on many an occasion.

[Mr. Baker chuckles]It’s a science. Not for everybody, I’ll tell you that. It’s kind of like—alright, put it in layman’s terms, it’s kind of like a one night stand where the girl ends up pregnant, you get me? A drunken, spur of the moment decision that drastically changes at least one person’s life, depending on whether or not the guy sticks around, but he’s not thinking like that when he goes in that room, right? He just wants to get laid. [Mr. Baker chuckles again]

– It’s the truth, hombre. And, in the same vein of thought, most pseudociders, they’re operating off of instinct. They don’t care about the consequences, they just want that one night of peace. We’ve all got the fight or flight plan built in to our DNA. Some people have just got different triggers than others. But what most people don’t realize, the most difficult thing about pseudocide is you’ve got to leave everything behind. I mean everything.

– Most people don’t think about that when the idea pops into their head. Or maybe they do but they don’t really know what it means. They see the bills piling up, their boss is on their ass day in, day out, they got a girlfriend or boyfriend or wife or husband at home whose treating them like shit, loan sharks are breathing down their neck, pick your poison. And they think, I could leave all this behind. I could definitely leave all this behind. But your job, your spouse, your finances, all of that’s only part of who you are, you follow?

– We humans, we’re complicated creatures. Very complicated. When people go through with the task of disappearing who they’ve been their entire life, when they realize they really can’t go back to anything that’s ever defined them as a person, that they’ve got to resort to all types of drastic measures to really get away—I’m talking total identity annihilation, sometimes even plastic surgery if you’ve got the type of features that are easily identifiable—they usually snap. And that’s when they make the mistakes that get them caught by whoever’s looking for them, any type of hunter, from the crazy stalker to the FBI. It’s all outlined in my book, The Pseudocider’s Handbook. Check it out some time.

[1] Pseudocide: a slang term meant to indicate the act of faking one’s own death.


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